The 3DS Hatin’

Few things have recently annoyed me more than random hating on the Nintendo 3DS. Especially when these complaints usually have pretty easy fixes to them. I’m not saying that Nintendo’s upcoming handheld is the perfect device and sure, it is pretty clear where my gaming allegiances lie, but this is how I perceive a lot of the “bad” complaints that people have been throwing Nintendo’s way.

– “It’s too expensive”
It’s one thing to have money-johns and to not be able to afford it. It’s another thing to say the device is “too expensive” for what it’s offering. This is next-generation hardware. Those who say “it’s more expensive than a Wii, so it’s a ripoff” are morons, plain and simple. Five years is a long time, especially when the price has been discounted since then. When focus groups were recommending $300-$400 for the 3DS, you get a 2 GB SD card plus a bunch of bundled software, and Nintendo is bringing something new to the table once again, $250 is a pretty good deal, all things considered.

– “The launch lineup sucks”
Nintendo can’t win in this situation. They’re trying to show the vast third-party support they have with the onset of the system, and while those games are just not that good right now, how is that a knock against the system in the long run? What did the original DS lineup have that was a big seller, aside from Super Mario 64 (which most say was disappointing, too)? Are people just ignoring what games are already in the works for the system?

– “The battery life sucks”
Three-five hours on full 3D settings isn’t ideal, sure. But when a device is trying to render two screens simultaneously in 3D mode, that’s going to be a pretty big power suck. Few things, though: If you’re on a long car trip, buy a car adapter or do something else. You have power outlets in your home/apartment – you can use them if you need to while playing. Also, if you’re not playing your 3DS, charge it in the docking bay, plain and simple. The battery life isn’t a big issue for me, because the most I’ve played a handheld in one sitting is only a few hours anyway. Treat the 3DS like a phone. You’re going to be taking it with you, you’re going to have to charge it overnight or during downtime. However, the most important part about the battery is that it is REMOVABLE. Nintendo could have easily gone the Apple route and said “once the internal battery dies, you’re screwed, you have to get a new device.” However, third-parties are now developing external batteries that greatly improve the battery life of the 3DS, at the cost of system bulk. Who knows if Nintendo will support battery replacements under their warranty?

– “The sweet spot is too small for me/I shake my handhelds”
Arms at 90º angles. Device 10-14″ away from your eyes if you’re on full 3D effect. And don’t move your system around like a fool. Or turn the 3D off. Sure, you’re not going to be playing games that use the gyroscope like Steel Diver or Face Raiders in public, where you’ll look ridiculous moving your entire body with your arms locked. But it’s not any of our problems if you don’t have any self-control and like to tilt your handhelds uncontrollably. And did I mention you could just turn the 3D off?

– “The 3D hurts my eyes”
Then TURN. IT. OFF. Believe it or not, the slider is there for a reason.

– “Some features are missing”
Nintendo’s eShop, improved web browser, and many more tweaks are expected for a massive firmware update in late May. Netflix on 3DS is planned for later this summer, but I’ve heard rumblings that Nintendo may be trying to push that up to the May update as well. Patience is always a good virtue to possess, especially in small doses.

– “I’ll just wait for 3DS Lite”
You don’t KNOW that’s happening. Sure, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise at all, given Nintendo’s recent history, but if you’re willing to miss games like Ocarina of Time, Paper Mario, Mario Kart, Star Fox, Metal Gear, and more to wait for something that MIGHT happen, that’s your prerogative. Or you can be smart and get a two-year warranty from your retailer that will fully refund you for your 3DS if something like that does happen. Your call.

– “I’ll just wait a few months and buy it with Zelda”
Good luck trying to find one. All indications so far are that we’ll be seeing Wii-like supply/demand shortages. Income excuses aside, if you do eventually plan on getting one, the smartest thing to do would be to pre-order and purchase one at launch. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

– “There aren’t any good features”
3D camera, improved connectivity with StreetPass/SpotPass and one friend code tethered to the system, 3D slider, backwards compatibility, bundled software, AR games, suspendable games…that whole “no glass required” thing…and more. No, you’re right, this device is terrible.

– “NINTENDO SUX SONY RULEZ”
/trollin’
But I do wonder what kind of complaints will surface when we learn more about NGP. Not to mention if we’ll learn from how these issues will be resolved and apply them to Sony’s new device.

Anyway, my two cents.